The Invisible Load of Motherhood: Why It’s Heavier for Black Mums and How to Ease It
Burnout isn’t just about being tired, it’s about being emotionally drained, mentally overloaded, and physically stretched beyond your limits.
A staggering 93% of mums say they feel burned out.
Sound familiar?
What Is the Invisible Load?
Motherhood carries a mental load: an endless stream of tasks and thoughts, often unseen and unshared.
You might be:
- Remembering appointments
- Managing everyone’s emotions
- Coordinating schedules and activities
- Holding together family recipes, traditions and cultural identity
This emotional labour is real, constant and often underestimated.
Why It Hits Harder for Black Mums
Black mothers often carry this load with added weight; a result of systemic inequities, social expectations and the need to protect their children from racial bias.
What the research shows:
- 45% of Black mothers feel unsupported in their parenting journey (Center for American Progress, 2020)
- Black mothers are 3-4x more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes than white mothers (CDC, 2021)
- The “Strong Black Woman” stereotype contributes to emotional suppression and burnout (Journal of Black Psychology, 2018)
- Constant vigilance is needed to shield children from racism, while fostering pride in cultural identity (Journal of Family Psychology, 2021)
This isn’t just parenting. It’s protecting, preserving and performing, often without acknowledgment.
You Are Not Failing
If you feel this way, you are not weak. You are doing more than most will ever see or understand. And you are not alone.
7 Ways to Ease the Mental Load
You don’t have to carry it all especially not in silence. These small shifts can make a big difference:
1. Name It Out Loud
Say what you’re thinking, planning and remembering. Make the invisible visible.
2. Share, Don’t Just Delegate
Let others own full tasks, not just “help.” It’s shared responsibility, not just your job.
3. Find Mini-Rests
Short breaks matter: listen to some music, take a deep breath in a locked bathroom, 5 minutes of stillness.
4. Set Boundaries
You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to pause.
5. Simplify Where You Can
Routines reduce mental clutter. Fewer decisions = more mental space.
6. Find Your People
Build connections with other mums who get your experience. Solidarity lightens the load.
7. Let Go of Perfection
You don’t need to be everything to everyone. You are enough as you are.
Final Thoughts
Motherhood is beautiful, but it’s also hard.
It changes you and it challenges you.
Especially for Black mums, the work behind the scenes often goes unspoken. But we see you. We honour your labour, your strength and your softness.
You are not failing, you’re just carrying too much. And it’s okay to set some of it down.
🖤
